The Optimistic Child (Martin Seligman)

reviewed by Cori

This book was recommended to me by a friend and I recommend it heartily as well. The subtitle is "A Proven Program to Safeguard Children from Depression and Build Lifelong Resilience." Dr. Seligman is a pscyhologist who outlines a program he created to help identify children with a propensity to develop depression, then help reverse the cognitive tendencies that tend to accompany depression. Even if your child is too small to show many signs of depression, I thought the book was very helpful simply to point out pessimistic thought patterns and teach (through actual exercises provided in the book) how to change the thinking that can lead to depression.

Concerns you might have about this book that I can debunk in the name of My Humble Opinion:

*It will be too academic-sounding (read: BORING) to be applicable. Not so. I found the writing, research explanations, and examples easy to follow.
*I won't need this unless my child ever gets depressed. Ah, but learn about being a good example in your own optimistm now and you can avoid that situation all together. I was absolutely amazed at the number of children who will experience depression. Cognitive therapy is a common way to treat depression, so I think this reading is valuable no matter who you are...I think most of us have known someone or experienced personally how devastating depression can be. I like the idea that maybe I could be helpful just by being informed. Also, you may be surprised about some of your own tendencies and examples that you could change fairly simply to be a good example to your children.
*I am not interested in telling myself fifty times every day that I am good enough, smart enough, etc. Don't worry, you won't have to! In fact, that's not even the type of optimism that Dr. Seligman promotes.
*Will this apply to my small children? Honestly, most of the book is geared towards kids ages 8 and up. But I still found the skills useful. There is a chapter at the end centered around little ones, and I found it helpful.

There are also some very interesting thoughts on self esteem: what we as a society have made it out to be, how we disillusion (or spoil) children in the name of self esteem, and proper versus improper ways to encourage and praise a child.

I'm not one to take any self-help book as a "bible" but instead try to pick up a few good tips that I find most compelling. There were plenty to choose from here, and I enjoyed becoming better informed (and hopefully a better parent). If you want something more focused on adults, he also has a book called "Learned Optimism" - same concepts, no kid focus.